Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Meet Klara Leger, who today will share her knowledge about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). After leaving a unhealthy relationship with a narcissistic individual she made the deliberate choice to leverage her experiences and insights to spread information about the NPD so people can have the knowledge to avoid such relationships.
Instagram: @klaraleger
Today we have the honor to share our interview with Klara about unhealthy relationships and how you can avoid a narcissistic individ.
How can you define narcissistic personality disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by entitlement, lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, a constant need for admiration and attention, and often, charming demeanor. Individuals with NPD navigate life by exploiting and manipulating others, leaving their victims shattered, filled with guilt, and questioning their own identity. These symptoms typically don’t manifest immediately in relationships, as narcissists tend to initially shower their victims with affection and extravagant gestures, known as “love bombing.” They excel at discerning your needs and providing precisely what you crave to feel acknowledged and understood. Initially, it may seem like they’re rescuing you from your past traumas, uncovering parts of yourself that no one else has seen. However, over time, they begin to devalue you, starting with subtle criticisms that gradually escalate, leaving you feeling diminished and confused. This progression can be difficult to recognize, as their behavior becomes normalized. Eventually, they exploit your vulnerabilities to manipulate and retraumatize you, no longer using their knowledge of your traumas to support you but rather to control and harm you.
How can you tell if a person is acting narcissistic?
1. A narcissistic person excessively craves admiration and attention from others.
2. They possess an inflated self-image, believing they are more important than others.
3. Lack of empathy means they struggle to understand or care about others’ feelings.
4. Narcissists can be manipulative to achieve their own goals and interests.
5. They have difficulty handling criticism or feedback as they struggle to accept being wrong.
6. Narcissists expect special treatment and feel entitled to privileges.
7. Seeking constant validation, they always seek approval and praise from others.
What is the reason you decided to start spreading knowledge about narcissistic personality order?
My decision to raise awareness about Narcissistic people stemmed from a transformative experience in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. The impact was profound, leaving me struggling to recognize myself afterward, consumed by shame and guilt amid profound confusion. I grappled with the baffling realization of how someone could wield such manipulation, seemingly transforming from one persona to another—Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde—over the course of the relationship. It was a devastating experience that left me feeling stripped of my power.
However, amidst this turmoil, I recognized my agency in shaping my narrative. I realized early on that I possessed the ability to frame my story in different ways, and I sought to derive meaning from the relationship. Thus, I made the deliberate choice to leverage my experiences and insights to disseminate information about this vital subject. I believe the term “narcissist” is often misunderstood, reduced merely to someone who admires themselves in the mirror. In reality, it encompasses far more, wreaking have on those who encounter it. Hence, I consider knowledge about narcissists crucial, as it can serve as a lifeline, aiding individuals in avoiding such relationships, extricating themselves from them, and embarking on a journey of healing.
What are the most common reasons why people stay in these kind of unhealthy relationships?
It’s mostly due to the trauma bond, which can be explained as a relationship that alternates between good and bad. There’s a constant feeling of needing to improve oneself to earn the other person’s love. You believe that if you just do a little more, you’ll regain the initial reward when everything felt perfect. If it’s a parent, you’ll chase memories of the good times with them, occasionally catching glimpses of that again. It becomes a cycle of seeking reward and avoiding punishment, Which is shaping our behavior. Punishment makes you tread carefully, perhaps preparing extensively before expressing feelings or adjusting your behavior around them. You might not realize you’re scared, mistaking fear for love or passion. Despite the toxicity, the good times feel exceptionally rewarding, feeding into a cycle where you strive to recapture the initial phase. Any change in the relationship is often attributed to YOUR actions, leading to punishment by the narcissistic partner. Mixed signals keep you constantly guessing, focusing on changing yourself to avoid punishment rather than recognizing the other person’s actions. Despite the confusion, occasional rewards feel exhilarating, perpetuating the addictive cycle akin to drug addiction. You become addicted to the relationship’s highs, with your self-esteem controlled by the manipulative partner. When they acknowledge you again, you feel validated, but then they withdraw, prompting you to seek their approval once more.
What can you, as a friend or family, do to help someone who’s in a relationship with a narcissist? What is the reason you decided to start spreading knowledge about narcissistic personality order?
Firstly, observing such a relationship from an outside perspective is incredibly challenging. I often have people approaching me who witness the situation but struggle to reach the person involved. They see their loved one diminishing and losing their identity, feeling utterly helpless themselves. The truth is, the individual in the narcissistic relationship must recognize the need to break free on their own; the motivation must stem from within. However, there are ways to offer support. You can gently inquire about their feelings regarding certain aspects of the relationship without imposing your own judgments. For example, you could ask, "How do you feel when they speak to you like that?" or "What happens when you disagree with their perspective?" While you may not receive complete honesty, these questions can prompt them to reflect on their situation.