Motherhood

Meet Amanda Miklin she is one of the co-founders of the Holy Crap Podcast and Community. She has a deep interest in health, holistic and conscious living, nature and herbs, and deep spiritual practices. She is a Holistic Coach and Healer and teaches about Emotional Awareness while providing Somatic Tools to use in one's healing and self-development journey.

Amanda lives in Stockholm with her husband Marcus and their soon-to-be 3-year-old son August. They recently bought their dream house in the Stockholm archipelago where Amanda will practice slow living in the midst of nature.

Today we have the honor to share our interview with Amanda about Motherhood. She will delve deeper into the topic of motherhood and how you as a mother can support yourself and your family.

What does motherhood mean to you? 

Motherhood, for me, means a lot of things. It’s a master program in self-development, as your child is the perfect mirror of you. For me, I learned how to regulate myself as I quickly saw how my inner stress affected August when he was a baby because he instantly mirrored me and showed restless or stressed behavior, which led me in stressful situations to quickly regulate myself and stop whatever I was doing to breathe and calm myself down, which resulted in a more calm and content baby in that moment. 

What is the most important aspect of being a mother to you? 

& how would you describe your motherhood?

To be loving, present, and responsive with August and with myself is so important to me. I run my own company and have a lot of things going on, so I need to really practice slowing down and grounding myself to be able to meet August in total presence. If I’m scattered or in my mind, August notices that, and neither of us can fully enjoy our time together.

So recently, I have been taking more time for myself to be able to fully meet August. I have shifted from quantity to quality when it comes to the time I spend with August, as I believe the quality of our time together means more than the hours I put in. Because if I'm not fully present and stuck in my mind, I’m not actually there.

Therefore, I have realized that I need to give more love and time to myself, as the first couple of years with children can be pretty intense, and it’s easy to stop prioritizing yourself. And I have noticed a big shift in my energy when I have filled up my own cup; I can meet August with so much more presence. And it’s important for me that when I’m with August, he gets as much as possible from me, as I want to be fully present, responsive, and meet his needs when I’m with him.

How do you handle your child's different emotions and feelings as a mother? 

Emotional Awareness is something I feel called to and work a lot with. And this knowledge came after becoming a mother. For me, emotions are energy, and energy needs to be in flow. By suppressing our feelings, we create discomfort in our bodies — we need to release our feelings. When a baby cries, it's a stress release (even pain stresses the body), so they need to release that stress they have carried. It doesn’t even need to be from that moment — it can be a situation that happened earlier. You can observe a stressed child; they become tense and rigid in their bodies because they are holding onto stress or emotions. After a big cry, they soften in their whole bodies and feel pleased afterwards.

I try to never distract August while experiencing an emotion, if he is crying — he needs to decide for himself when he is done. All I do is be there, comfort him and confirm his feelings. When it comes to feelings such as anger, often I need to help him, as children can’t fully control their emotions, it’s easy for them to hurt others while being upset. So I tell him that it’s super okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit anyone (if that happens). And this has become easier to manage now that he can express his feelings with words. Sometimes he tells me that he is really angry at me (I think this is adorable, but I try to hide my excitement) and I tell him that’s okay and that I can be angry at him as well. But, I believe that all of us will feel much better after a loud and angry scream, it’s just an emotion. I use a pillow or scream in the car!

How do you make time for yourself?

I realized the hard way that no one is coming to save me and give me time to take care of myself — I need to take my time. So my husband and I have a weekly structure that both of us follow. That makes it so much easier for me to schedule workouts, treatments, or dinner with friends that I know will fill my cup. I try to listen to my body and what it needs in each moment. Sometimes it can be dinner and kombucha with friends, a pilates workout, or just spending time in nature. Our bodies know exactly what we need if we slow down and listen.

What has being a mother taught you about yourself and life?

Motherhood has taught me so much. I have been a people pleaser and haven’t always prioritized my own needs. So motherhood has taught me to set boundaries, listen to my body, and share open about my feelings in situations — because my actions no longer only affect me, they affect my family and son. So it was for him that I started to do this work for real — and it has been so healing for myself.

Motherhood also taught me the importance of self-care and prioritizing my own health and well-being, as parenthood can be exhausting. Taking care of myself is an act of love for those around me. It’s only when we give love to ourselves that we can fully give love to others. Speaking from my own experience!

To a soon to be mother, what would you give for advice?

Take things slow and listen to your body, sometimes a 'no' is the best gift we can give to ourselves. Motherhood is a wild and fantastic ride, but never stop prioritizing your own needs — and dare to ask for help. We are not made to handle everything by ourselves. 

Sending you so much love, mama