What is your Love Language?
Within all our relationship in life we try do show each other love and appreciation, but sometimes, even something as wonderful as love can get lost in translation.
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What is the theory of love languages ?
The theory of the five love languages were introduced in 1992, in book written by the American pastor Gary Champan. After working as a marriage counselor at his Church for over 20 years and experiencing some difficulties within his own marriage, he eventually realized that most conflict was a result from two people wanting to be shown and show love in different ways. For example, Champan described in one of his latest interviews how his wife would want him to help with chores around the house, which he didn’t do. Instead, he would tell her how nice she looked and multiple times a day tell her that he loved her. But one night his wife said, “You keep saying “I love you”, but if you love me, why don’t you help me?”
So really, when talking about love languages were referring to one’s way to show love and to receive love. Throughout the past couple years, this has become a cultural phenomenon.
What are the five languages of love? How do we show them? And why can it be beneficial to know about?
The love language:
Words of affirmation. People with this love language value spoken and written words that shows one’s appreciation. It could be by valuing their accomplishments, compliments and the frequent “I love you”. These expressions make the person feel understood and appreciated.
Quality time. People whose love language is quality time feel the most loved when their partner prioritizes spending time together, and while doing this, is present and give their spouse their full attention. No distractions from phone screens or a football game in the background, but instead making time for meaningful conversation and recreational activities.
Acts of service. This love language is for the people who believe that actions speaks louder than words! Unlike the people who want to hear that they’re loved, these people like to be shown that they’re appreciated. It could be making coffee in the morning for your loved one, change the tires on their car, packing their lunch bag or, like Chapman’s wife wanted, help with chores around the house.
Gifts. It's as simple as it sounds! People with gifts as their love language feel loved when they're being given gifts. Although it's not the value of the gift that’s important, but the thought behind it and the fact that someone went out of their way and thought about you when they bought it.
Physical touch. Having physical touch as your love language means that you feel loved and cared for when you receive physical signs of affection. It can be by holding hands while strolling through town, cuddles in front of a movie, or a kiss good morning.
Right now, you likely resonate with all of these, and that's entirely normal. Receiving and giving each of them would be fantastic! However, you may have a few that hold slightly higher value for you. Discussing this with your loved ones, friends, family, or anyone in your life can be incredibly beneficial. It helps prevent conflicts and misunderstandings, especially when the intention is clearly positive.
So, take a moment and ask yourself, What is my love language? Then go ask your loved ones what their love language is and spread more love !